January 30, 2012

Are You Spoiling Your Kids ROTTEN?

Picture from kidcrave.com
Of course, I have always wanted to give my kids the luxuries I didn't get as a child. I have plans on making really fun, "adventure" bedrooms. For a girl, I would love to create a castle over top of a princess bed. For the walls, we want to have either a lego or chalkboard wall! (Thank you Pinterest!) I want to have a mini dress-rack with dress up/costume clothes on it. For a boy, (if we don't have a boy, then for the girl!!) I want to make a bed into a tree house in their bedroom. I've seen awesome examples online and it would just be awesome!

Just because I want to give my children some cool things I didn't receive as a child DOES NOT mean I want to raise a spoiled child... Spoiled is one thing but spoiled BRAT is another, and often go hand in hand. Here are some definitions/information I found about spoiled children surfing the web.

Urban Dictionary: A kid who wants everything they see... and they cry and scream their heads off until they get it.

Wikipedia: A spoiled child (also called a spoiled brat) is a child that exhibits behavioral problems from overindulgence by his or her parents. Spoiled children may be described as "overindulged", "grandiose", "narcissistic" or "egocentric-regressed".

Wikipedia: In 1989, Bruce McIntosh coined the term the "spoiled child syndrome".[1] The syndrome is characterized by "excessive, self-centered, and immature behavior". It includes lack of consideration for other people, recurrent temper tantrums, an inability to handle the delay of gratification, demands for having one's own way, obstructiveness, and manipulation.

Happiestbaby.com: Spoiling has consequences that go beyond the immediate trouble of managing an unruly, spoiled child. It sets up patterns that can last a lifetime.
“Probably one of the greatest disadvantages that spoiled children face is the fact that they have not learned to work for something that they really want,” Buttross tells WebMD. “There is no work ethic, no lesson to really strive for something.”
Since spoiled people get what they want through manipulation, they develop “a dysfunctional way of relating to people,” Karp says. “Those habits can take 10 years of therapy to break.”

Chabad.org: (Parent Testimony...result of spoiling) It is ridiculous how much money was spent on them (our children), and they did nothing to deserve it. But worse, they were completely unappreciative and even complained that they didn't like the colors or the accessories that came with some of their gifts. Not only didn't they bother saying thank-you, we were met with eye rolling and smirks.

The only thing positive(??) about spoiling your child that I found is this article, Why You Should Spoil Your Kids By Debbi Miller Gutierrez. It is HILARIOUS. She's obviously joking, stating we should...
  1. Always pick up after them
  2. Never say no
  3. Give them whatever they want
  4. Make no demands of them
  5. Keep tight control of the money
Basically spoiling your child is bad (Duh!) but for some reason some of us parents still want to do it. Maybe they don't even know they are doing it??

Make sure your children do not take things in life for granted. Give them gifts and fun toys when they deserve it, not just because they are bored or begging for it at the store. You don't want to spoil your child because they won't be able to handle life's normal pitfalls. Spoiled children do not outgrow these behaviors because that is how they were raised. They are used to getting their way so they won't be able to succeed despite downfalls. They won't do well with other people because they are used to thinking, ME ME ME all the time.

I'm not saying to not have fun with your kids!! Obviously giving gifts is one of life's little joys. You want to see that huge glimmering smile filled with joy as your child receives a big shiny ball.. or a trampoline! But make sure they are thankful for these presents. You want to raise respectful, unselfish children... don't you? 

Does anyone know any spoiled children? Do they play well with your children? I'd love your thoughts!

January 28, 2012

Losing My Grandma

I thought delivering my baby was the worst pain I would ever experience. Then three weeks later on August 7, 2011 something even more painful happened. I lost my grandma to lung cancer. She was diagnosed with cancer 3-4 months prior, had one partially successful treatment, lots of hope and strength, then unsuccessful treatments/poor immune responses, and then her health rapidly declined until she passed away. It was the first time I lost someone so close to me and it literally broke a piece of my heart off. It still upsets me strongly, which is why I am reflecting about it almost 6 months later. I remember feeling shocked, sad, angry, then shocked again, devastated, hopelessly depressed, furious, confused, and every other emotion possible. I was so emotionally upset that I would have rather given birth dozens of times over again. The emotional pain was nothing in comparison to giving birth after all the drugs/pain relievers wore off. Just a couple days ago, I had another emotional breakdown while thinking about how I would never see my grandma again, at least in this lifetime. I started crying softly, trying to hold it in (which is a dumb thing to do...), then Bill noticed and it all came out in a big explosion. I was sobbing fiercely until I started thrusting my arms and kicking and just having a complete fit. There is absolutely nothing I can do about my grandma passing away. There is absolutely no way to change what has happened. That is a hard concept for me. I have never truly experienced this and I was especially angry because my grandma could have lived another 20 years or so. She was only 63.

I spent as much time as I could with my grandma during her last week of life. She had pneumonia and was bed rest in the hospital with failing cancer treatments. There are two memories that are really important to me that I would like to share. The first night I visited her, when things had gotten really bad, she gave me a big kiss on my forehead. I will never forget that moment. After that, the few things she said were hard to understand due to all the drugs. She was in a lot of pain. Then she slept a lot, hardly ate a thing until I watched her completely stop functioning. I watched her dwindle down from appearing really healthy to lifeless. It was the worst thing in the world. Second memory I would like to share. It actually really hurts me too because it is related to my baby, her great-grand daughter. She did not get a chance to visit Miss A in the hospital when she was born because of her condition. Miss A was 3 weeks old when my grandma passed away. She never had the chance to hold her or talk to her BUT she did flash one big smile in the hospital when I brought Miss A in to see her. I will never forget that smile because at that point she was not functioning well. She was sleeping a lot and I could hardly understand her. I definitely couldn't communicate with her well. I told her "Grandma, Miss A is here to see you." She scrambled to get the pictures I brought her earlier. I said, "No, Grandma she is right here." She looked up at her and then gave me a big smile. That is all the response I got from her but it was enough because she got to meet Miss A.

Only time can heal this kind of pain. Though, I have a feeling it will never go away.

January 22, 2012

Our New Bathroom Decor!

For our wedding, we registered for a light pink, floral themed bathroom.
I asked Bill if he was okay with our bathroom looking like "an old lady's bathroom".
His response. "You are the decorator Monica."
At my second bridal shower, I received most of our bathroom set.
Here is the new look!

Simply Shabby Chic Bath Curtain!
Fancy Jewelry Stand & Mirror
White Toilet Seat Rug-- I needed this!
Sweet Shower Curtain Rings-- Bedazzled
Apple Blossom Scented Air Freshener

Cat Ring Holder :D [My fAvE]

January 15, 2012

First Attempt at Homemade Baby Food

I made baby food tonight! AND it was somewhat successful! I have been dreaming about this day for several months now. I used our juicer to fill 5 Munchkin Fresh Food Freezer Cups with carrot mush! It was really messy... and I have decided I will never use our juicer to make baby food again. The juicer takes out all the pulp and wastes most of the vegetable. I should have made 10 jars of carrot puree but instead the juicer separated the carrot skin with the inner parts. From now on, I will just steam the vegetables and then put them in my blender.

What a mess!!!
This is the only part I used, the rest was dry carrot skin... :/
I LOVE THESE CONTAINERS! Microwave, Dishwasher, & Freezer Safe!

January 4, 2012

Milky Oatmeal Bath to Help Eczema

Our baby wakes up some nights itching like crazy because of her eczema! Last night she woke up a good dozen times fiercely itching her scalp and eyes. I feel so bad for her. I'd rather have eczema than have her suffer with it! We are sure to lotion her entire body with Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion, with is formulated with oatmeal and recommended by her pediatrician. It really makes her [and me!] feel soft and silky despite her rough patches of dry skin. When she is really itchy and red, we put Aquaphor Healing Ointment on her. I don't like this ointment as much because it is thicker and leaves her skin looking shiny/oily but since it helps, we use it.

I'm finding that keeping her free of dye/scented products AND applying lotion frequently does not help her completely. Though her eczema has significantly improved and her face is no long covered in red, rash-like patches, we cannot let her wail and toss around all night because of irritated skin. So, I finally broke down tonight and ran her a warm, oatmeal bath. Let me tell you what.. It made her skin softer and more moisturized than any product we have tried!

Simple, Mess Free Instructions for Milky Oatmeal Baths
  1. Cut off the foot of a pantyhose. 
  2. Fill it with plain oatmeal and tie it off.    
  3. Draw warm bathwater while holding the oatmeal filled pantyhose underneath it. This will create a creamy, milky bath instead of having to bathe in actual oatmeal. [Great too, but messy!]
  4. While baby is playing in the water, wash her with the oatmeal filled pantyhose. I ran it over her entire body, including hair. 
  5. After washing, leave it in the bottom of the tub.
It leaves the skin very, very soft and soothed while reducing itching and inflammation.  

You can see her Eczema a little on her belly :( Not TOO bad though

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